Consider Me Alive
by Maone
Summary: Asterix and Obelix's birthday is coming, but instead of celebrations a tragedy takes place. Minor character death
1. Chapter 1

_I can see your perfect world, trying to keep it alive. _

_Wrapped up safe inside... a place where you can hide. _

_I'm given the chance to lead you home. _

_I'll follow your soul to hell and beyond. _

_We will meet again. _

_In life... or in death. _

The sky was painted bright blue, the trees were reaching up high, everything was green and beautiful, a picture-perfect moment. Birds were sitting at the edge of their nests, feeding their little ones with fresh-caught worms…

_"Ah, blatu blande bitos biuon!_

_Ah‚ m' atriia, ah‚ ma helvetia!"*_

[Question: Jana, do you mean "helvetia" or "Gallia"? Cacofonix usually sings for Gaul, but it's not out of the question for him to be singing for Helvetia, so I left it as it is, but I thought I'd ask.] A horrible noise ripped through the air, making the birds shudder and fly away. The awful singing of the creature's voice was cut into by another, deeper and more threatening. "Cacofonix, if you don't shut up this very minute, I promise this time my hammer will reach you all the way up there!"

"I must sing! I'll lose my voice if I don't!"

"If you keep singing, I'll make you lose it way faster, trust me. " The blacksmith lifted his hammer, aiming it at the bard.

"Tsk, barbarian!" With that, the blonde bard turned on his heel and headed back to his hut, muttering curses.

Meanwhile Asterix and Obelix were making their way to the forest, to hunt down some boars. They were walking side by side when Obelix broke the companionable silence. "Can you believe our birthday is coming up again? The time is passing so fast!"

"Yes, it is," Asterix replied.

"What do you think we'll get for our birthday?"

"I honestly have no idea, Obelix. I'm more worried that our dear mothers will try to find us wives again."

"By Toutatis, I hope not!"

"No Roman army can compare with a mother who's got her mind set on something," Asterix chuckled.

When they returned to the village, they found that they had company to welcome them. "Obelix! Son, it's good to see you again!"

Obeliscoidix came up to his son, hugging him, quickly followed by his wife. "Have you been eating well, darling?" asked Vanilla. Obelix just rolled his eyes and sighed.

Asterix looked around. "Did you two come alone?"

Obeliscoidix turned his attention to him. "Yes we did, Astronomix and Sarsaparilla left before us. We had to take care of some things first. They should have arrived by now. "

Asterix frowned and left for a moment, heading towards the guard at the village gate. When he returned, in a low, worried voice he said, "They never came."

*Oh dulcet blossom of the living world!  
Oh my fatherland, oh my Helvetia!


	2. Chapter 2

The Romans were after him. He must hide.

The forest. He was still being chased by the Romans. He could hide in the forest. They wouldn't find him there.

He didn't know how long he had been there, green moss around him, when he saw them. A little man, a small woman. Small, but full of red blood. It had been green for so long and now all he could see was red. His hunger for blood and exposed flesh – he could feel it building up. He sought out a heavy branch to use as a club, and waited.

He set up his ambush, leaped out behind them, took them by surprise. The man first, of course, he was armed. He was short, so a club to the head. The feeling of wood striking bone vibrated up his arm, exciting him with the thrill of the kill. He whirled on the woman, just turning to her husband. Raising the club high, he smashed it down onto her head. She didn't even have time to scream.

He stood over them for a moment. The woman's eyes were wide open and her chest was not moving. He had killed the woman instantly, accidentally. She had died straight away – a merciful kill, he had saved her from any real suffering. That was not usual for him. He looked more closely. The blow had shattered her skull.

The man, though… the man had a bleeding wound in his head, but he was still alive.

First, he tied the man up. That gave him the chance to take the woman and hang her from a branch using rope he found in their cart. She looked pretty satisfying already, with a big open wound on her head, her face completely covered in blood, only her blank dead eyes standing out. Then, he strung her husband up next to her. Now he only had to hide the cart, then he would have time to have some fun.

Astronomix woke up slowly. There was a gentle swinging sensation… his body was numb. His memory was blurry… what had happened?

He opened his eyes fully – and saw his beloved wife hanging dead.

His eyes went wide. He was bound and gagged, strung up from a tree – like his Sarsaparilla – no, no, she couldn't be dead – he tried to get out of the rope, but it was too tight. His eyes started to tear up at the sight of his beloved hanging there, with no more dignity than a pig. He struggled against the ropes. He had to get out.

By the time Astronomix the Gaul fully realized that he was trapped, that there was no way he could get out of this, the man had returned, armed with rocks and a heavy tree branch. The attacker started to giggle insanely.

The birds of the forest had stopped singing.

Astronomix's eyes were fixed on his, filled with anger. He couldn't form words through the gag, but his look said it all.

The man started to throw rocks at him, aiming carefully, making this a game – a sick little game with a living target. The stones were sharp, breaking the skin as they bruised. Then the man bent to pick up his club, his eyes alight with an insane pleasure, playing with it as he approached the bound and defenseless Gaul.

He beat Astronomix mercilessly. The forest resounded with muffled screams and the sounds of bones breaking.

Astronomix looked up at the sky. The pain was fading, everything was fading away. "Happy Birthday, Asterix..." he thought.

The last blow struck his head, smashing in his skull.

The forest filled with silence after the man breathed his last breath. The killer stood before his victim, staring at the ground. Suddenly, he heard the animals all around him: they were howling, grunting, shrieking, chirping – as though they were crying for the good man who was taken away.

Feeling surrounded, he dropped the branch, running away. Leaping into the cart, he whipped up the horses and galloped out of the cursed forest.

The bodies of Astronomix and Sarsaparilla hung there, the animals gathering around them, staring. Not a creature made a move towards the fresh corpses. A lone wolf sat underneath, waiting until their souls passed away, and split the sky with a mighty howl.

The sun hid, bleeding, trying to hide from the world of evil. The night covered up the sins of man. Still the bodies hung there, waiting to be found, waiting to go home. A man and a woman, a father and a mother, who never came.


End file.
